How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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