I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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