At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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