i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
