Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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