Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize