then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
