Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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