i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
