Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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