My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
