Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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