I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
