Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
