just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
