shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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