dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i think my cat just said my name.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
