there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize