wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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