theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
