i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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