I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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