She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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