is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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