Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
