I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
