just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize