I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
