You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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