Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
