I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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