Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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