But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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