i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
