I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
