idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
