the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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