i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
