Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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