Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
