I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
