some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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