So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
