and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
