I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So much rum. So many feels.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
