i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
