We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
