On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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