so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
