I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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