Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
