I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
