My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
