Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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