garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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