Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i dont even know how to be here
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
