that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize