Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
