i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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