Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
